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Reaction Formation

by Justin Friello

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1.
King Of The World 04:45
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I was a baby sitting on top of the world I was just a baby, small And I thought if I yelled loud enough I could be the king Maybe I could rule it all But times got hard and my voice wasn't loud enough And times got hard and my words weren't strong enough '’Cause a baby can't lift up the world But I try, I try, I try But these dreams won't let me sleep at night I was the only man living at the end of the world I was the only one And I was not afraid,, so I took off all my clothes Naked in front of no one But what's the use in taking off your clothes if there's no one to love? What's the use in having everything if it's not enough? And I still could not save the world But I try, I try, I try But these dreams won't let me sleep at night Times got hard and my voice wasn't loud enough And times got hard and my words weren't strong enough And I'm still a baby inside And I cry, I cry, I cry But these dreams won't let me sleep at night
2.
Kid 05:12
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Lights off in your room Pillow over your head And you want to scream, but you can't let her know What's going on in your head Woke up in your room Woke up in the same place The time doesn't move as fast as you want it to And people don't change And you want to love, but you're just a kid Who writes and dreams of running away Far and fast, till the time it's safe To open up your eyes Walked out of your room Felt brave for a while But you walked right back in when you realized You're not allowed to smile And you want to hate, but you're just a kid Who waits for signs to feel like he belongs Inside a world where it's all right To let tears fall from his eyes Heard voices from your room But couldn't make out what they said And you want to look out without anybody knowing What's going on in your head So you start to plan How you're gonna break free one day And you wait for the right time to let everybody know What you've been wanting to say And you want to leave ‘cause you're not a kid Who waits around for everyone to realize What you knew all along: you were the only one To open up your eyes
3.
Holy Wars 04:37
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Mirror watches all that you don't see All you choose to forget Reflects it back to me In memories of troubled days And, yes, I have a choice To leave before it hurts To take back my own voice But for now I'll, for now I'll Hold on to my, hold on to my soul Before you take it away, take it away You believe your intentions have been pure Regrets, you have none Relationships: unsure Won't listen to what others say You expect me to mend your sores While you take up your post And fight your holy wars For a god who's never once been there I’ll Hold on to my, hold on to my soul Before you take it away, take it away Innocence has been lost And consequence has found Its way into my heart And it covers me in a faded light And how you build yourself up No longer brings me down I've washed my hands of all you've done I’ll Hold on to my, hold on to my soul Before you take it away, take it away
4.
Pretty Little Thing 03:26
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Oh, I see that girl See you standing there with your head in your hands Watch you cry away Wonder why you did Now I'm running around Trying to figure it out: who it was you're waiting for With your head like that Never one more day you cry Won't you come and see me You pretty little thing, you ? Won't you come around my way? How you doing, miss? I would ask you for an hour tonight Wipe your tears away Never wonder why you did Oh, and if I might Take your hand and we'll go dance tonight And make it all okay Never one more day you cry Won't you come and see me You pretty little thing, you ? Won't you come around my way? How do you do? I wasn't so well The tears, they fall Like the rain from your eyes Nobody knows How I sleep at night Toss and turn Dreams get away, they get away from my mind Well, this is all I'm after And I want to return To your heart And mend it, I'm mending my mind It's all into pieces And all this distance is killing me Won't you come and see me You pretty little thing , you? Won't you come around my way?
5.
Ponytail 04:23
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You were right there in front of me and you caught my eye Sun playing with your shadow from behind And seventeen is too young And maybe I'm too old, but I'd make you my wife Hold your hand, keep you safe from the ghosts in the night Cry your tears, I'll wipe them dry When your eyes meet mine When you won't have to stand on your toes to kiss me all right "Goodnight" The words thrown in the air And the words float in my head: "Is it wrong? Is it wrong? What have I done? What have I done?" You were so much better than I hoped before I apologize, but I want more of your skin And more of your eyes More of your world to make me feel better about living in mine And I have the same dream every night That your hand was holding mine And I felt you from inside And when the room was spinning Our bodies did collide It pulled me down, it pulled me down And you hold me close inside my mind Open wide, your mouth on mine Your skin, I come in tight Only when I close my eyes And you're gone, you're gone What have I done? What have I done?
6.
Song No. 6 04:47
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Why do you laugh when I say I love you? I gave you my best Is my best not enough for you? Why do you laugh when I say I love you? I gave you my heart And that's that best I can do I said I'll write you, write you, write you a song If you say you'll love me, love me, love me a long time I've been sleeping all my nights alone Waiting for someone to hear my song Why do you smile when I cry? These tears taste better Than blood or wine Why do you smile when I cry? These tears are to let you know I want your heart to bleed into mine I said I'll write you, write you, write you a song If you say you'll love me, love me, love me a long time I've been sleeping all my nights alone Waiting for someone to hear my song Why do you run when I call And leave me screaming Till I can't speak at all? Why do you run when I call? Is it my voice That you can't stand at all? I said I'll write you, write you, write you a song If you say you'll love me, love me, love me a long time I've been sleeping all my nights alone Waiting for someone to hear my song
7.
Arms 04:45
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What is there to hope for? What is there to dream When you are all I've wanted When you are all I need? What is there to die for? You're already in my arms Why should I be fighting? I've already won the war How is it I'm blinded By the woman that you are? How can I get lost Swimming in your arms? Why should I be panicked If I don't reach the shore? Slowly I'll be drowning Sinking in your arms The water will take me And toss me around Your hands could save me And turn me around I will give all I have To hold you close inside my bed The world outside can stay out there Forget your troubles and remember me instead We could make a love so great That all the heavens would open up and celebrate Close your eyes, imagine you and me As one great ball of legs and love and arms What is there to run from? From what is there to hide? What should I be scared of? Why should I cry When you are all I've hoped for? Of you is all I dream You're everything I've wanted You're everything I need Maybe if I listen Maybe if I'm quiet Maybe if I pull back If I clear my mind Maybe I would see you And everything you are See you right beside me See you in my arms The night is closing The dark surrounds Your hands will find me And turn me around I will give all I have To hold you close inside my bed The world outside can stay out there Forget your worries and remember me instead We could make a love so great That all the heavens would shine down and celebrate Close your eyes, imagine you and me As one big ball of legs and love and arms
8.
Lost Child 05:41
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The colors of all the lights I walked away Distracted by the sights At the carnival, the carnival Invited by the night I went to play The games I could not win Till I could not feel your hand That kept me close And I yelled loud as I can At the carnival, the carnival And panic set in My body froze So I stopped and laid down I'm safe in my own mind Like a movie I'm writing all the time And it never ends, it never ends The story's been revised At my choosing To one where I can win But I can't rewrite our lives I would change the scenes And have you play the type Who would never leave, never leave I would say all of my lines So perfectly You would stop, turn around I will follow you Wherever you go I am a lost child Tugging on the hems of the skirts Of the pretty girls who came before Until I found you Until I found you Regrets have made it hard To be proudest Of leaving you so far At the carnival, the carnival And the boy that's in my heart Speaks the loudest But not in front of you I won't pressure you for answers And I won't waste your time anymore And I won't make promises, no promises ‘Cause promises only let you down I will follow you Wherever you go I am a lost child Tugging on the hems of the skirts Of the pretty girls who came before Until I found you Until I found you
9.
Charlyne 06:15
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There's a devil in your eyes Who comes to take the souls of your lovers at night Who plays upon their fears and changes over time You might have murdered, but I was glad to call you mine You kissed me once and then you were gone Lying in your arms was like shelter from the hardest of storms Charlyne, where have you gone? Charlyne, not in my arms anymore Her blood runs cold, but her heart shines red She walks alone with the voices in her head Watch your back or you'll end up in her bed When you think you're safe, she drops you dead You kissed me once and then you were gone Lying in your arms was like shelter from the hardest of storms Charlyne, when have you gone? Charlyne, please return to my arms once again Even with hate in my heart and my life on the line She was the woman I loved, I was proud to call her mine Charlyne, where have you gone? Charlyne, hold me in your arms forever
10.
You Don't Come Around No More 05:15
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And I wait, and I wait, and I wait for you to call And I'll try, and I'll try, and I'll try not to miss you at all Your name, your name, your name is always on my mind I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait to hear your voice on the other line But you don't come around no more You don't come around no more You don't come around no more Oh, how I'd love to hear your knocking at my door Once again, once again, once again I'm all alone I hear ringing inside of my head that sounds just like the telephone And I wait, and I wait, and I wait for no one at all Please come back to this house where I'll be forever waiting for your call But you don't come around no more You don't come around no more You don't come around no more Oh, how I'd love to be back how we were before So many nights I stay up to wait for you 'cause waiting's Better than losing you inside of my dreams And I still hold on ’Cause one never knows just how things work out Promise me you'll turn around I'd change my life if you'd be homeward bound But you don't come around no more You don't come around no more You don't come around no more Oh, how I'd love to hear your knocking at my door And I wait, I wait, I wait for you to call And I'll try, I'll try, I'll try not to miss you at all
11.
Nine Months 04:58
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I've been thinking it's about time for me to leave home Not even my girl would ever know Where I went or where I'm going on that road I've been thinking it's about that time for me to leave home All I need is a little motivation And in about nine months I know I'll get some And all those cries won't be heard by my ears so far gone All I need is a little bit of motivation No fingers, no eyelids Other than the ones of you and me alone And I shouldn't say that I won't be back some day But it's only gonna be nine months till I leave home How can I look you in the eye Without seeing two more growing inside? ‘Cause yours are all I'll ever need, but now the number's too high How can I stand here and look you in the eye? No fingers, no elbows Other than the ones of you and me alone And I shouldn't say that I won't be back some day But it's only gonna be nine months till leave home Now it's gettin' kinda lonely out on the road Days are lonely and my spirit's almost broke My mouth is dry and the sun is high and I'm all alone It's gettin' real lonely way out here on the road No fingers, no smiles Other than the ones that I call my own I hope some day I'll be back your way But it's only gonna be nine months till I leave home
12.
Mama 04:18
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So why am I so lonely? I've got all the friends I need The solitude is only Half what won't let me be Another winter's cold is Eating right through my bones And I can't shake the oldest Sadness I have ever known Mama, all of the years are gone Mama, and I've not moved on I've taken my share of The responsibility Done more than you're aware of To understand what's wrong with me And you should know it's not your Fault for the wrong that's been done But know that it's a lot more Than should be put on anyone Mama, all of my childhood, gone Mama, and I can't move on A child is only shaped by Who he knows and what he sees A lesson that is early learned: Be careful or he will repeat The secret that was long kept Haunts me like a ghost But I can no longer hold inside That which has hurt me most Mama, mama, mama, all of the hours are gone Mama, and I won't move on
13.
Settling 03:46
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It's been a while, hasn't it? You always knew how to bring me to tears And that's still your smile, isn't it? Oh, ’cause you know mine's all but disappeared You were the reason I was so paralyzed Couldn't bring myself to leave my house for days And in all that time I felt most alive In so many ways 'Cause you save my life with the thought of your hair In waves at night, undressing you bare And there are times when I wonder Why you settled, you settled for somebody else again Funny, the time, isn't it? To make sure the memories are never hard to find But that's just like you, isn't it? To twist me up and make me change my mind You were the reason I felt justified In believing that people never really change And in all that time, I proved myself right In so many ways I'm awake at night remembering all the Times I was wrong and, of course, you were right And I've lived my life but I can't help but wonder why You've settled, you've settled for everybody else again You're the reason I can't look at my wife Without me wishing that she had your face But in all that time I hadn't realized I didn't have yours to waste You break my heart all over again And shake my start just because you can So take me apart, I'll never understand Why you settled, you settled for someone like me
14.
Out Of My Head 05:53
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I am a man who knows just what he wants And I know exactly what I need I am a man who's got it all figured out And everything is in my plan Nothing changes without my request And everything in my demand Keep my eyes closed is all that I need At times it's all that I can All that I can do To keep from going Out of my mind Out of my head Out of my head again Nothing is the same I think that sometimes I am going crazy I've been reaching for someone I wanted Not exactly one who I need And I've been dying for the love I put out And all the love I want in my hands But who would reach out to a man who's on The edge of all the world he can stand Keep my eyes closed is what I need At times it's all that I can All that I can do To keep from going Out of my mind Out of my head Out of my head again Nothing is the same I think that sometimes I am going crazy And my wings are gone...
15.
The Wish 03:32
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And walking on my way I looked up at the sky And saw a falling star And sent my wish up high To never be afraid Of people that won't change Of mountains that won't move Or let me rearrange To not live in my head anymore I came upon a field Where night had made its home And grass that kissed my feet Said I was not alone Although the wish I made So high into the night Said never be afraid I fear that I just might Not ever leave my head anymore And walking on the road The night said its goodbyes The sun approached the land And shone into my eyes I thought about the wish The dream of mine that night I knew that I'd been moved To never in my life Return to my head anymore
16.
Dragons 07:02
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Flush out the ghosts in here Make the past disappear Silence the voices in my head Until I feel safe in my bed With one push and a grin This is how we all begin So when did that smile turn to frown And turn my world upside-down? Upside-down It seems the child in me Is hanging on to dreams Have flown away, away Send out the signal call An SOS to top them all Let the boats come from afar To mend these battle scars And when they take me away You'll hear the nurses say “Captain, we did our part But medicine can't fix a broken heart” Broken heart It seems the soldier in me Is fighting off the war Inside my heart He will be the one to stand, to fight To take up his arms against the ships, the planes Dropping their bombs on him There are dragons to slay Erase the lies in here Till even the truth disappears Then make up the story's end Live in a world of pretend This is how I'll make my way Rewrite my life every day Kill all the witches and eat my feasts Make myself the king of all the beasts All the beasts It seems the hero in me Does not believe the world He sees, he knows He will be the one to stand, to heed The call to arms in lands far away His people will hold their breath And wait each day for him to return with the head Bring the dragon to bay

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©2012 Justin Friello

Digital Download also includes an 18-page Photo and Lyric booklet.

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released August 31, 2012

All Music and Lyrics written and performed by Justin Friello.

Joshua Mlodzianowski performs Alto Saxophone on tracks nos. 3, 4, 5, 6, and 8.

Aden Brooks performs Trombone on tracks nos. 3, 6, and 8.

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Justin Friello Schenectady, New York

Acoustic Anti-Pop Singer/Songwriter

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