Reaction Formation

by Justin Friello

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04:23
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05:41
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03:32
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07:02

about

©2012 Justin Friello

Digital Download also includes an 18-page Photo and Lyric booklet.

credits

released August 31, 2012

All Music and Lyrics written and performed by Justin Friello.

Joshua Mlodzianowski performs Alto Saxophone on tracks nos. 3, 4, 5, 6, and 8.

Aden Brooks performs Trombone on tracks nos. 3, 6, and 8.

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about

Justin Friello Schenectady, New York

If Dave Matthews sang R&B. If Tracy Chapman were a rapper. The lovechild of Alanis Morissette and Cee-Lo Green and if that child went on to have another child with Andrew Bird and Sufjan Stevens in a wild 3-way.

Justin is a multi-instrumentalist who plays guitar, piano, viola, mandolin, percussion & whistles.

He's also an composer of classical & musical theatre works.

Visit justinfriello.com
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Track Name: King Of The World
I was a baby sitting on top of the world
I was just a baby, small
And I thought if I yelled loud enough I could be the king
Maybe I could rule it all

But times got hard and my voice wasn't loud enough
And times got hard and my words weren't strong enough
'’Cause a baby can't lift up the world
But I try, I try, I try
But these dreams won't let me sleep at night

I was the only man living at the end of the world
I was the only one
And I was not afraid,, so I took off all my clothes
Naked in front of no one

But what's the use in taking off your clothes if there's no one to love?
What's the use in having everything if it's not enough?
And I still could not save the world
But I try, I try, I try
But these dreams won't let me sleep at night

Times got hard and my voice wasn't loud enough
And times got hard and my words weren't strong enough
And I'm still a baby inside
And I cry, I cry, I cry
But these dreams won't let me sleep at night
Track Name: Kid
Lights off in your room
Pillow over your head
And you want to scream, but you can't let her know
What's going on in your head

Woke up in your room
Woke up in the same place
The time doesn't move as fast as you want it to
And people don't change

And you want to love, but you're just a kid
Who writes and dreams of running away
Far and fast, till the time it's safe
To open up your eyes

Walked out of your room
Felt brave for a while
But you walked right back in when you realized
You're not allowed to smile

And you want to hate, but you're just a kid
Who waits for signs to feel like he belongs
Inside a world where it's all right
To let tears fall from his eyes

Heard voices from your room
But couldn't make out what they said
And you want to look out without anybody knowing
What's going on in your head

So you start to plan
How you're gonna break free one day
And you wait for the right time to let everybody know
What you've been wanting to say

And you want to leave ‘cause you're not a kid
Who waits around for everyone to realize
What you knew all along: you were the only one
To open up your eyes
Track Name: Holy Wars
Mirror watches all that you don't see
All you choose to forget
Reflects it back to me
In memories of troubled days

And, yes, I have a choice
To leave before it hurts
To take back my own voice
But for now I'll, for now I'll

Hold on to my, hold on to my soul
Before you take it away, take it away

You believe your intentions have been pure
Regrets, you have none
Relationships: unsure
Won't listen to what others say

You expect me to mend your sores
While you take up your post
And fight your holy wars
For a god who's never once been there

I’ll Hold on to my, hold on to my soul
Before you take it away, take it away

Innocence has been lost
And consequence has found
Its way into my heart
And it covers me in a faded light

And how you build yourself up
No longer brings me down
I've washed my hands of all you've done

I’ll Hold on to my, hold on to my soul
Before you take it away, take it away
Track Name: Pretty Little Thing
Oh, I see that girl
See you standing there with your head in your hands
Watch you cry away
Wonder why you did

Now I'm running around
Trying to figure it out: who it was you're waiting for
With your head like that
Never one more day you cry

Won't you come and see me
You pretty little thing, you ?
Won't you come around my way?

How you doing, miss?
I would ask you for an hour tonight
Wipe your tears away
Never wonder why you did

Oh, and if I might
Take your hand and we'll go dance tonight
And make it all okay
Never one more day you cry
Won't you come and see me
You pretty little thing, you ?
Won't you come around my way?

How do you do?
I wasn't so well
The tears, they fall
Like the rain from your eyes
Nobody knows
How I sleep at night
Toss and turn
Dreams get away, they get away from my mind
Well, this is all I'm after
And I want to return
To your heart
And mend it, I'm mending my mind
It's all into pieces
And all this distance is killing me

Won't you come and see me
You pretty little thing , you?
Won't you come around my way?
Track Name: Ponytail
You were right there in front of me and you caught my eye
Sun playing with your shadow from behind
And seventeen is too young
And maybe I'm too old, but I'd make you my wife

Hold your hand, keep you safe from the ghosts in the night
Cry your tears, I'll wipe them dry
When your eyes meet mine
When you won't have to stand on your toes to kiss me all right

"Goodnight"
The words thrown in the air
And the words float in my head:
"Is it wrong? Is it wrong?
What have I done? What have I done?"

You were so much better than I hoped before
I apologize, but I want more of your skin
And more of your eyes
More of your world to make me feel better about living in mine

And I have the same dream every night
That your hand was holding mine
And I felt you from inside
And when the room was spinning
Our bodies did collide
It pulled me down, it pulled me down

And you hold me close inside my mind
Open wide, your mouth on mine
Your skin, I come in tight
Only when I close my eyes
And you're gone, you're gone
What have I done? What have I done?
Track Name: Song No. 6
Why do you laugh when I say I love you?
I gave you my best
Is my best not enough for you?
Why do you laugh when I say I love you?
I gave you my heart
And that's that best I can do

I said I'll write you, write you, write you a song
If you say you'll love me, love me, love me a long time
I've been sleeping all my nights alone
Waiting for someone to hear my song

Why do you smile when I cry?
These tears taste better
Than blood or wine
Why do you smile when I cry?
These tears are to let you know
I want your heart to bleed into mine
I said I'll write you, write you, write you a song
If you say you'll love me, love me, love me a long time
I've been sleeping all my nights alone
Waiting for someone to hear my song

Why do you run when I call
And leave me screaming
Till I can't speak at all?
Why do you run when I call?
Is it my voice
That you can't stand at all?

I said I'll write you, write you, write you a song
If you say you'll love me, love me, love me a long time
I've been sleeping all my nights alone
Waiting for someone to hear my song
Track Name: Arms
What is there to hope for?
What is there to dream
When you are all I've wanted
When you are all I need?

What is there to die for?
You're already in my arms
Why should I be fighting?
I've already won the war

How is it I'm blinded
By the woman that you are?
How can I get lost
Swimming in your arms?

Why should I be panicked
If I don't reach the shore?
Slowly I'll be drowning
Sinking in your arms

The water will take me
And toss me around
Your hands could save me
And turn me around

I will give all I have
To hold you close inside my bed
The world outside can stay out there
Forget your troubles and remember me instead
We could make a love so great
That all the heavens would open up and celebrate
Close your eyes, imagine you and me
As one great ball of legs and love and arms
What is there to run from?
From what is there to hide?
What should I be scared of?
Why should I cry

When you are all I've hoped for?
Of you is all I dream
You're everything I've wanted
You're everything I need

Maybe if I listen
Maybe if I'm quiet
Maybe if I pull back
If I clear my mind

Maybe I would see you
And everything you are
See you right beside me
See you in my arms

The night is closing
The dark surrounds
Your hands will find me
And turn me around

I will give all I have
To hold you close inside my bed
The world outside can stay out there
Forget your worries and remember me instead
We could make a love so great
That all the heavens would shine down and celebrate
Close your eyes, imagine you and me
As one big ball of legs and love and arms
Track Name: Lost Child
The colors of all the lights
I walked away
Distracted by the sights
At the carnival, the carnival

Invited by the night
I went to play
The games I could not win

Till I could not feel your hand
That kept me close
And I yelled loud as I can
At the carnival, the carnival

And panic set in
My body froze
So I stopped and laid down

I'm safe in my own mind
Like a movie
I'm writing all the time
And it never ends, it never ends

The story's been revised
At my choosing
To one where I can win

But I can't rewrite our lives
I would change the scenes
And have you play the type
Who would never leave, never leave

I would say all of my lines
So perfectly
You would stop, turn around

I will follow you
Wherever you go
I am a lost child
Tugging on the hems of the skirts
Of the pretty girls who came before
Until I found you
Until I found you

Regrets have made it hard
To be proudest
Of leaving you so far
At the carnival, the carnival

And the boy that's in my heart
Speaks the loudest
But not in front of you

I won't pressure you for answers
And I won't waste your time anymore
And I won't make promises, no promises
‘Cause promises only let you down

I will follow you
Wherever you go
I am a lost child
Tugging on the hems of the skirts
Of the pretty girls who came before
Until I found you
Until I found you
Track Name: Charlyne
There's a devil in your eyes
Who comes to take the souls of your lovers at night
Who plays upon their fears and changes over time
You might have murdered, but I was glad to call you mine

You kissed me once and then you were gone
Lying in your arms was like shelter from the hardest of storms

Charlyne, where have you gone?
Charlyne, not in my arms anymore

Her blood runs cold, but her heart shines red
She walks alone with the voices in her head
Watch your back or you'll end up in her bed
When you think you're safe, she drops you dead

You kissed me once and then you were gone
Lying in your arms was like shelter from the hardest of storms

Charlyne, when have you gone?
Charlyne, please return to my arms once again

Even with hate in my heart and my life on the line
She was the woman I loved, I was proud to call her mine

Charlyne, where have you gone?
Charlyne, hold me in your arms forever
Track Name: You Don't Come Around No More
And I wait, and I wait, and I wait for you to call
And I'll try, and I'll try, and I'll try not to miss you at all
Your name, your name, your name is always on my mind
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait to hear your voice on the other line

But you don't come around no more
You don't come around no more
You don't come around no more
Oh, how I'd love to hear your knocking at my door

Once again, once again, once again I'm all alone
I hear ringing inside of my head that sounds just like the telephone
And I wait, and I wait, and I wait for no one at all
Please come back to this house where I'll be forever waiting for your call

But you don't come around no more
You don't come around no more
You don't come around no more
Oh, how I'd love to be back how we were before

So many nights
I stay up to wait for you 'cause waiting's
Better than losing you inside of my dreams

And I still hold on
’Cause one never knows just how things work out
Promise me you'll turn around
I'd change my life if you'd be homeward bound

But you don't come around no more
You don't come around no more
You don't come around no more
Oh, how I'd love to hear your knocking at my door

And I wait, I wait, I wait for you to call
And I'll try, I'll try, I'll try not to miss you at all
Track Name: Nine Months
I've been thinking it's about time for me to leave home
Not even my girl would ever know
Where I went or where I'm going on that road
I've been thinking it's about that time for me to leave home

All I need is a little motivation
And in about nine months I know I'll get some
And all those cries won't be heard by my ears so far gone
All I need is a little bit of motivation

No fingers, no eyelids
Other than the ones of you and me alone
And I shouldn't say that I won't be back some day
But it's only gonna be nine months till I leave home

How can I look you in the eye
Without seeing two more growing inside?
‘Cause yours are all I'll ever need, but now
the number's too high
How can I stand here and look you in the eye?

No fingers, no elbows
Other than the ones of you and me alone
And I shouldn't say that I won't be back some day
But it's only gonna be nine months till leave home

Now it's gettin' kinda lonely out on the road
Days are lonely and my spirit's almost broke
My mouth is dry and the sun is high and I'm all alone
It's gettin' real lonely way out here on the road

No fingers, no smiles
Other than the ones that I call my own
I hope some day I'll be back your way
But it's only gonna be nine months till I leave home
Track Name: Mama
So why am I so lonely?
I've got all the friends I need
The solitude is only
Half what won't let me be

Another winter's cold is
Eating right through my bones
And I can't shake the oldest
Sadness I have ever known

Mama, all of the years are gone
Mama, and I've not moved on

I've taken my share of
The responsibility
Done more than you're aware of
To understand what's wrong with me

And you should know it's not your

Fault for the wrong that's been done
But know that it's a lot more
Than should be put on anyone

Mama, all of my childhood, gone
Mama, and I can't move on

A child is only shaped by
Who he knows and what he sees
A lesson that is early learned:
Be careful or he will repeat

The secret that was long kept
Haunts me like a ghost
But I can no longer hold inside
That which has hurt me most

Mama, mama, mama, all of the hours are gone
Mama, and I won't move on
Track Name: Settling
It's been a while, hasn't it?
You always knew how to bring me to tears
And that's still your smile, isn't it?
Oh, ’cause you know mine's all but disappeared

You were the reason I was so paralyzed
Couldn't bring myself to leave my house for days
And in all that time I felt most alive
In so many ways

'Cause you save my life with the thought of your hair
In waves at night, undressing you bare
And there are times when I wonder
Why you settled, you settled for somebody else again

Funny, the time, isn't it?
To make sure the memories are never hard to find
But that's just like you, isn't it?
To twist me up and make me change my mind

You were the reason I felt justified
In believing that people never really change
And in all that time, I proved myself right
In so many ways

I'm awake at night remembering all the
Times I was wrong and, of course, you were right
And I've lived my life but I can't help but wonder why
You've settled, you've settled for everybody else again

You're the reason I can't look at my wife
Without me wishing that she had your face
But in all that time I hadn't realized
I didn't have yours to waste

You break my heart all over again
And shake my start just because you can
So take me apart, I'll never understand
Why you settled, you settled for someone like me
Track Name: Out Of My Head
I am a man who knows just what he wants
And I know exactly what I need
I am a man who's got it all figured out
And everything is in my plan
Nothing changes without my request
And everything in my demand
Keep my eyes closed is all that I need
At times it's all that I can

All that I can do
To keep from going
Out of my mind
Out of my head
Out of my head again
Nothing is the same
I think that sometimes
I am going crazy

I've been reaching for someone I wanted
Not exactly one who I need
And I've been dying for the love I put out
And all the love I want in my hands
But who would reach out to a man who's on
The edge of all the world he can stand
Keep my eyes closed is what I need
At times it's all that I can

All that I can do
To keep from going
Out of my mind
Out of my head
Out of my head again
Nothing is the same
I think that sometimes
I am going crazy

And my wings are gone...
Track Name: The Wish
And walking on my way
I looked up at the sky
And saw a falling star
And sent my wish up high

To never be afraid
Of people that won't change
Of mountains that won't move
Or let me rearrange
To not live in my head anymore

I came upon a field
Where night had made its home
And grass that kissed my feet
Said I was not alone

Although the wish I made
So high into the night
Said never be afraid
I fear that I just might
Not ever leave my head anymore

And walking on the road
The night said its goodbyes
The sun approached the land
And shone into my eyes

I thought about the wish
The dream of mine that night
I knew that I'd been moved
To never in my life
Return to my head anymore
Track Name: Dragons
Flush out the ghosts in here
Make the past disappear
Silence the voices in my head
Until I feel safe in my bed
With one push and a grin
This is how we all begin
So when did that smile turn to frown
And turn my world upside-down?

Upside-down
It seems the child in me
Is hanging on to dreams
Have flown away, away

Send out the signal call
An SOS to top them all
Let the boats come from afar
To mend these battle scars
And when they take me away
You'll hear the nurses say
“Captain, we did our part
But medicine can't fix a broken heart”

Broken heart
It seems the soldier in me
Is fighting off the war
Inside my heart
He will be the one to stand, to fight
To take up his arms against the ships, the planes
Dropping their bombs on him
There are dragons to slay

Erase the lies in here
Till even the truth disappears
Then make up the story's end
Live in a world of pretend
This is how I'll make my way
Rewrite my life every day
Kill all the witches and eat my feasts
Make myself the king of all the beasts

All the beasts
It seems the hero in me
Does not believe the world
He sees, he knows

He will be the one to stand, to heed
The call to arms in lands far away
His people will hold their breath
And wait each day for him to return with the head
Bring the dragon to bay